Friday, January 15, 2010

2010 - A Year of Nurturing

What's a New Year without resolutions kan? Tak kisahlah new or old ones, janji every year ada goals that have been thought of and listed down and plans/targets to achieve them. Reinvented/recycled goals pun takpe maa...

My (still) empty 2010 organizer cum planner cum tempat conteng-conteng

I've been behind in listing down my own goals for this year, mainly because I was preoccupied with preparations for the baby and the new school year for Sofea and Aidiin. Ah well, better late than never, they say. Half month through Jan 2010 dah ni.

Anyways, lepas brainstorming and pikir punya pikir, striking out/highlighting/underlining/asterisk-ing (got such word meh?) sana-sini, these are the items on my I-Hope-To-Achieve-&-Improve-This-Year list, in no particular order:

I will not yell so much

Show love more, lose temper less

With a baby in the house nanti, this is probably the most important and at the same time most challenging goal to achieve. But then again, with a baby in the house, this might become the most achievable goal out of all goals for this year sebab semua orang terpaksa cakap pelan-pelan, takut bising nanti baby bangun. So nak tak nak kena control volume. The challenging part would be to cakap whisper-whisper time tengah meletup.

All these times I have to say that as much as I try to be patient, calm and composed when explaining or instructing or tegur-ing, more often than not, it does not work or help. I am ashamed to admit that I normally resorted to yelling in order to be heard over my kids squabbling, fighting, whining, crying, TV-watching etc in order to get their attention. It's not easy to automatically lower my tone afterwards in order for me to explain why their behavior is not acceptable and why I am angry. One more thing I noticed is that with all the yelling and screaming, I also ended up using threats to get them to cooperate. Not good kan? *sigh* Bad, bad mommy I am.

Is there anyone out there (parents with more than one child) that doesn't find his/herself in this yelling situation at least once a day? I fail miserably in this area. *hangs head in shame* Bukan berniat untuk mengaibkan anybody (especially a very loved one), but I know I speak for famyBoy too in this case. Suara dia lagi kuat... :P

Although I usually end up getting the kids to obey and do what they were supposed to do or stop doing what they were not supposed to do, I can't help feeling guilty and wonder if I am just making things worse with my yelling, regardless if the situation had warranted it or not. I don't know if I am damaging my children psychologically in the long run, although they seemed to be their usual happy, cheery, inquisitive selves afterwards, forgive and forget terus. Overall I know they are wonderful kids and I love them to bits, and I realize that they are just being who they are... yakni KIDS, but sometimes their disobedience, negligence, ignorings drive me (and famyBoy) nuts.

I pray that Allah will grant me patience in dealing with them and guide me towards becoming a better mother if not (yet) an ideal one. I want to be the nurturing, compassionate and affectionate Ibu who they will turn to in times of need and I want them to respect me out of love (and to please Allah), not out of fear of nanti kena marah/bebel/denda or have their priviledges taken away.

How to make the kids understand that ya? If you all have any tips in this area please do share. I highly welcome your suggestions.

Find more quality family time

A family that prays together, stays together

This goal requires some amount of brainstorming and planning (and budgeting too if applicable). Lagipun nak kena make sure famyBoy is available, tak kena gi outstation and whatnot. I need to make sure that as a family, we do more things together, enjoy time spent together, ensure each child is given the opportunity to feel special and loved as a member of the famyFamily.

Ni kira nak kill two (or more birds) with one stone-lah. First of all, boleh buat combo goals 'listen to each child's needs and desires' and 'make each child feel good about his/her self'. Indirectly, the time spent together as a family would result in less (non-educational) TV-watching and mengadap-computer-all-the-time times, give the kids the attention they need, and hopefully we get to have fun as a family in general. Kalau boleh, akan cuba diselitkan jua activities yang boleh give each child the individual time he/she deserves. Sekaligus dapat improve parent-child relationship. Haaa... dah berapa ekor birds dah kena 'bunuh' dah ni.

Hmmm... nampak gaya Ibu kena banyaaaaaak pikir lagi pasal benda ni. At the moment otak dah penat and tepu. Perhaps I'll post a separate entry on this when I have more insight. Can you help get me started? Any ideas? Somehow I think madame butterfly who's always busy like a bee is an expert in this area, especially on the planning part. *wink*

Improvement dari segi agama/ilmiah/rohaniah

Al-Ummu Al-Madrasah

Hmm... this could be an extension of goal #2. Tambah lagi sekor burung to kill. :P

Like I mentioned before, the goals are not listed in any particular order. This goal should actually be a priority.

For the past 2 years, Sofea has been independently reciting the Quran after solat Maghrib each day (tapi ada jugak hari yang dia ter-skipped), usually about 2 pages a day. Kalau dia rajin, dia baca 3 pages. Occasionally, her Ayah sits and listens to her to check on her recitations and tajweed. I must admit that my knowledge dalam bab-bab ni agak limited. So I trust famyBoy fully on this.

One good thing is at her KAFA, she gets to mengaji everyday with her 18 classmates, with an Ustaz listening to each student's recitation as they take turns to mengaji about half a page each. She also learns tajweed, and her knowledge of the various hukums ("nun bertemu this and this", "berapa harakah bacaan" etc etc etc) memang surpasses my limited knowledge. Sometimes dia ada juga tanya certain things for clarification, tapi Ibu tak dapat jawab and told her to check with her Ustaz the next day. *blush* I really have to improve myself in this area. Very the embarrasing-lah camni.

Anyways, the goal is not so much on Sofea in terms of mengaji, but more on Aidiin. I need to find/make time to sit with him and listen to him recite the surahs he learnt at school and help him correct his bacaans where needed. At the moment, dia tengah belajar surah Al-A'diyat. Alhamdulillah, the surahs he has read and learnt before this he has memorised and still remembers them (Eh, ye ke still remember? Nak kena test dia one of these days to make sure).

Ideally, I'd love to be able to sit down with the kids and do short tazkirah sessions at least once a week. Teach them about the Deen or discuss about the stuff they learnt at school - tawheed, fiqh, akhlak, sirah, Islam in general. Talk about the surahs they have read and the tafseer behind the translations. Think about examples on how to integrate Islam as much as possible into their lives and daily activities. Remind them frequently to fear Allah and follow His Messenger. Make sure their niyat to do things a certain way is because they want to (to please Allah), not because they have to. Remind them that Islam should be their way of life in totality.

For this to happen, I would have to sendiri improve first and increase my knowledge in the subject matter(s). With a baby on the way, I foresee this goal as a HUGE challenge (with many obstacles and distractions), but I don't want to use that as an excuse. Err tapi masa takde baby pun tak mampu nak execute diligently... tsk tsk tsk.

I pray that Allah will guide me in this and help me find effective ways to educate them to become successful muslim and muslimahs both in this world and the hereafter.

Lifestyle improvements in general

a. Financially
Spend less, save more. Yadda yadda yadda. Reduce significantly unnecessary credit card expenses. Pay off yang mana mampu, sebanyak yang mampu. Splurging allowed sekali-sekala only, with valid reasons (like mengidam sebelum beranak hee hee hee) and only on 'pre-approved' items.
Note: This goal is intended more for famyBoy and his 'midlife crisis'. :P

b. Health
- Cook healthier meals for the family. Serve more home-cooked meals, less tapau-ed meals. I'd have to korek my collection of buku recipes and plan better. Dah lama berhajat nak buat menu plan for each week so that I'd be more at ease, instead of frantically garu-ing kepala at 4pm each day, "Aiyaaa... what to cook today? What to cook today??"
Sok ada baby lagi perlu be organized in this area. Am seriously considering getting them fridge magnets from OO. *wink*

- Go to bed at a more reasonable time and wake up early. This one also ditujukan khas buat famyBoy terchenta, The Burung Hantu. Early to bed, early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise. Masa tadika pun dah diberitahu pasal ni.
I need to make sure the kids go to bed on time, i.e. latest 10pm each night on a school night. Weekends boleh lenient sikitlah. I myself need to make sure I am well-rested and not sleep deprived. Errr tapi bila ada baby that's probably not possible anymore. :P

- Exercise more (HAHAHA gelak besau guling-guling). Tapi kalau nak kurus cepat lepas beranak, kenalah disiplin sikit, no? We'll see... *gigit kuku*

c. Manage time better
- A recycled goal over the years. Cadangnya nak allocate dedicated time slots untuk baking experiments, readings, scrapbooking, learning and experimenting with the dSLR, gardening, blogging & blog-hopping, FB-ing dan macam-macam lagi ada. This goal shall be exempted from next year's review, sebab it should be an ongoing-continuous improvement thingy. Seelok-eloknya kena buat daily appraisal.

When listing down the above goals, I tried to recall zaman kerja when I had to list down SMART goals each year before the next appraisal cycle. Rasa-rasanya the goals above are:

- Specific?
Yes? No? *scrolls up* I think they are somewhat. Not down to the itty-bitty-gritty details but I think okaylah.

- Measurable?
Bolehlah... I think if I managed to reduce my yelling moments and 'bad mommy' moments overall, I have already accomplished something measurable.

- Achievable?
Errr... insyaAllah. Semoga Allah permudahkan segala urusanku.

- Realistic?
The goals above come into place because I want to better myself, in hopes to become a better wife for my husband and a better Ibu for my kids. Is that realistic enough?

- Timebound?
Hmmmm... ni tricky sikit. Susahlah nak letak deliverables and deadlines. Dengan izin Allah, if umur panjang, I get to revisit them, review my performances next year, and measure KPIs achieved.

Berkobar-kobar dah ni. hee hee hee. Agak-agak boleh dapat Anugerah Homemaker Cemerlang tahun ni tak? Wish me luck. :)

p/s: Sorry for making y'all read such a long entry. Tapi saya tengah ada 'mood' nak memblog semenjak dua-menjak ni...

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

And the countdown begins...

My first post in 2010... I initially thought that I won't be checking nor updating until the baby is born, but disebabkan saya memiliki itchy fingers, maka tertulislah update kecil ini. :)

Forget about the ticker in the previous entry. My latest checkup showed that the baby might be due earlier than originally expected. In fact, doctor kata, tak sampai end of the month pun baby boleh keluar if baby dah ready nak keluar. So, at the moment we're playing the guessing game everyday... Is today D-day?? Is it? Is it? Is it??

During the latest visit to the obgyn, I was informed that the baby's head has already dropped into the pelvis, although not fully engaged yet. Doctor juga bilang, sometimes with the 3rd or later babies, the baby's head might not be fully engaged at all. Tau-tau mak dia dah in labour and the baby terus keluar je. Waaaa like that one aaa??

So, in preparation for the 'unknown', I have finally gotten my 'hospital bag' packed and ready to go. *nervous*

Wahai pembaca-pembaca setia blog ini (you know who you are and I love y'all... *muahhhss*), silent readers and/or otherwise, please pray that I have a safe and smooth delivery ya? Doakan juga agar baby is sempurna sifat, healthy, cantik paras rupa. Semoga dia menjadi anak yang soleh, taat dan patuh pada perintah Allah, dan membesar menjadi insan yang diredhai Allah. Kalau boleh, I don't want to be in labour lama-lama like the previous two times, yakni 24 hours with Sofea and 30 hours(!!!) with Aidiin. Trauma oooo...

At that time Zakariya (Zachariya) invoked his Lord, saying: "O my Lord! Grant me from You, a good offspring. You are indeed the All-Hearer of invocation." (Ali 'Imran: 38)

"Our Lord! And make us submissive unto You and of our offspring a nation submissive unto You, and show us our Manasik (all the ceremonies of pilgrimage - Hajj and 'Umrah, etc.), and accept our repentance. Truly, You are the One Who accepts repentance, the Most Merciful." (Al-Baqarah: 128)

And those who say: "Our Lord! Bestow on us from our wives and our offspring who will be the comfort of our eyes, and make us leaders for the Muttaqun." (Al-Furqan: 74)

"O my Lord! Make me one who performs As-Salat (Iqamat-as-Salat), and (also) from my offspring, our Lord! And accept my invocation." (Ibrahim: 40)

(They say): "Our Lord! Let not our hearts deviate (from the truth) after You have guided us, and grant us mercy from You. Truly, You are the Bestower.
Our Lord! Verily, it is You Who will gather mankind together on the Day about which there is no doubt. Verily, Allah never breaks His Promise."
(Ali 'Imran: 8-9)

"Our Lord! Verily, whom You admit to the Fire, indeed, You have disgraced him, and never will the Zalimun (polytheists and wrong-doers) find any helpers.
Our Lord! Verily, we have heard the call of one (Muhammad s.a.w.) calling to Faith: 'Believe in your Lord,' and we have believed. Our Lord! Forgive us our sins and remit from us our evil deeds, and make us die in the state of righteousness along with Al-Abrar (those who are obedient to Allah and follow strictly His Orders).
Our Lord! Grant us what You promised unto us through Your Messengers and disgrace us not on the Day of Resurrection, for You never break (Your) Promise."
(Ali 'Imran: 192-194)

May Allah SWT make it easy for me...

Copyright © Scrapbooks and More 2013 | All rights reserved | Blog Design by Krafty Palette.