Thursday, May 28, 2009

Anak Dara Saya Sudah 8 Tahun





Sofea turned 8 on May 13, 2009 bersamaan 18 Jamadilawal. It was during exams week, and I was mostly stressed out and panicking (I cannot help it!!!) sebab dia nak amik exam and forgot to blog about the birthday girl. Lagipun I was still feeling blue after my cat Misha went missing. No mood-lah.

Coincidently, I remembered that I STILL owe Madame iSV a tag about anak sulung. Giler lama dah dia tag *blush* but saya asyik terlupa nak buat. Jangan marah ya, Ery?? But then again, memang amat appropriatelah this tag dijawab at this time, sempena Sofea's birthday entry kan? kan? kan?

First Born Tag

Here you go moms - a different kind of survey for a change - it's all about your first born! Just copy and paste it in a new note for yourself!

Let's see how much you remember!


1. WAS YOUR FIRST PREGNANCY PLANNED?
Mmmm... yeah, pretty much. We were pressured strongly encouraged to produce grandchild(ren) immediately :) but Sofea was only conceived after about 10 months after I got married.

2. WERE YOU MARRIED AT THE TIME?
Of course-lah. See question #1.

3. WHAT WERE YOUR REACTIONS?
Initially, I didn't even know I was pregnant. I was on a business trip to Phoenix, AZ and was throwing up throughout the plane ride. Immediately blamed the suspected basi kuah kari mamak. Sungguh merugikan... duduk business class tapi tak dapat makan apa-apa pun.

When I went shopping for jeans/pants from the Factory Outlets in Phoenix, I was slightly puzzled that I had grown one size bigger after my 2 weeks' stay there. I thought it was because of all the yummy food I ate. Olive Garden laa, IHOP laa, Taco Bell laa, big big slices of eggplant pizza laa dan macam-macam lagi.

Returned to Malaysia, had a fever, went to the clinic, doctor started asking questions which resulted in me having to pee in a cup. A few minutes later he said, "Congratulations Mommy!" Woaaahh!! Senyum simpul tersengih-sengih makcik. hee hee hee.

4. HOW OLD WERE YOU?
26 going 27.

5. HOW DID YOU FIND OUT YOU WERE PREGNANT?
Refer to last paragraph of answer to question #3.

6. WHO DID YOU TELL FIRST?
Parents, on both sides. Mereka teruja berlebih-lebihan.

7. DID YOU WANT TO FIND OUT THE SEX?
Yes. I was super curious. Senang sikit nak shopping ;)

8. DUE DATE?
May 13/14/15/16, 2001. The EDD varied each time I went for a scan.

9. WHEN WAS YOUR CHILD ACTUALLY BORN?
May 13, 2001 (on Mothers' Day that year)

10. HOW MUCH DID YOUR CHILD WEIGH?
3.03kg at birth, 2.75kg upon discharge. Confirmed by checking dokumen beranak. :)

11. DID YOU HAVE MORNING SICKNESS?
Except for that one episode of muntah-muntah on the plane, I had a smooth pregnancy. Ate anything my heart desired and Alhamdulillah, no morning sickness whatsoever.

12. WHAT DID YOU CRAVE?
Hmmm... I drank a lot of teh tarik. A LOT. :) Oh I craved for pulut inti quite often, sampai dah dekat due date pun still nak makan.

13. WHO/WHAT IRRITATED YOU THE MOST?
No one/Nothing in particular. But I didn't enjoy waking up several times in the middle of the night to pee.

14. WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CHILD'S SEX?
Girly-girly.

15. DID YOU WISH YOU HAD THE OPPOSITE SEX OF WHAT YOU WERE GETTING?
Didn't mind any sex sebab dia first born. Excited nak dapat baby je.

16. HOW MANY POUNDS DID YOU GAIN THROUGHOUT THE PREGNANCY?
Alamak tak ingatlah. Many many many pounds I guess. And most of them are still with me. Cissss!!

17. DID YOU HAVE A BABY SHOWER?
No. I think there was a kenduri kesyukuran if not mistaken.

18. WAS IT A SURPRISE OR DID YOU KNOW?
The kenduri? No, it was not a surprise :) It required a lot of pre-planning work, so takleh nak surprise-surprise.

19. DID YOU HAVE ANY COMPLICATIONS DURING YOUR PREGNANCY?
Errr... don't think so. Like I said, it was quite smooth.

20. WHERE DID YOU GIVE BIRTH?
Pantai Medical Centre.

21. HOW MANY HOURS WERE YOU IN LABOR?
24 hours!! I was admitted on Saturday morning due to a "show" (no "water break" experience) was about 2 cms dilated and had to stay at the hospital overnight. Sofea arrived the day after, 2 minutes before noon.

22. WHO DROVE YOU TO THE HOSPITAL?
An excited+panic famyBoy. hee hee hee.

23. WHO WATCHED YOU GIVE BIRTH?
famyBoy, and a few nurses/midwives. And my obgyn of course.

24. WAS IT NATURAL OR C-SECTION?
Natural birth, but I did request for epidural last minute. Tak sempat nak take effect pun rasanya. Ada rasa kebas tapi tak sepenuhnya. Lesson learnt, next time (if there is a next time) mintak awal-awal.

25. DID YOU TAKE MEDICINE TO EASE THE PAIN?
Inhaled laughing gas, jadi sedikit weng afterwards. Given Epidural at the last minute coz I was not 'relaxed' enough and the dilation process was taking place much too slowly.

26. WHAT DID YOU NAME HIM/HER?
Nur Addina Sofea

27. HOW OLD IS YOUR FIRST BORN TODAY?
8 years and 15 days :)

There you go, Ery. Selesai sudah hutang saya ngan awak. ;)





This birthday entry would not be complete without me recording some of the birthday girl's growing up progress(es) since the past year.

Without a doubt, she is STILL (and I think will always be) Ayah's Little Gurl. famyBoy can deny all he wants, but he knows he cannot bring himself to think about her future (when he has to let her go to become somebody's wife) without getting all mushy and a bit sebak. The change in his air muka shows it all. :)

Character-wise, good/bad habits-wise, she is more like her Ayah than me. I think the only way she's like me is the fact that she enjoys crafting activities. Origami, beading, paper crafts, cardmaking, scrapbooking etc. Other than that, she is 'just like Ayah', i.e. a female (mini) version of her father.

She is doing well academically, although I think she is a bit 'lazy' this year :P But I don't blame her-lah, because there's just sooo much homework daily, siapa tak penat and get turned off? The school practices streaming, and I think that's the reason her school workload is heavier this year. School has become extremely competitive too (dan Ibu jadi lebih tensi!!). But she's surviving... Alhamdulillah.


Last year's prize-giving ceremony@SK... Aidiin tumpang bangga & gumbira :)

KAFA-wise, she's making very good progress in her Quran class. She is now in Juzuk 30, a few surahs before Surah Ad-Duha. According to her, "Ustaz kata lepas ni ulang balik dari mula." I was told that nowadays the kids in her class recite the Quran in turns, macam majlis taddarus gitu. Alhamdulillah.

At home, I encourage her to mengaji on her own every evening after solat Maghrib or Isya', or whenever she gets a chance. The reason? To please Allah and dapat pahala and to chase Shaytan away. :)

For her birthday this year, I engaged the expert services of Madame Gart d Blue to bake birthday cookies for the birthday girl to distribute to her classmates in school. No big parties, but we did have a small (belated) cake-cutting ceremony last weekend with my in-laws: Sofea & Aidiin's Atuk & Wan, aunty & uncles and cousins. Of course, Ibu & Ayah & Aidiin juga.


One obvious characteristic of Sofea is that she has an innate desire for fun, ever since she was little. Sometimes I think that although she's an 8-year-old on the outside, she's still a 4-year-old on the inside... jiwa muda gitu. :)

She's inquisitive and always cheerful by nature and she's happy as long as she can laugh, have lots of fun and be loved and be around other people. She also thrives on compliments and affection. So despite her busy schedule with school, I am trying to think of activities outside of school that could feed her need to be industrious. Mini projects like helping around the house, cooking, gardening, using the computer (for educational purposes) may help her become more independent and competent. Hopefully, in this way, she'll be exposed to other skills like disciplining herself and managing time wisely. My objective is to have her learn to balance responsibility and organization with excitement and fun. May Allah guide me in my efforts and grant me patience throughout.

Happy 8th Birthday, Kakak!! Do know that Ibu and Ayah's constant bebelan is all because we want only the best for you and because we love and care about you very much. May Allah guide me in raising you to be anak yang solehah and may you grow up to be a good and respectable muslimah.

Lots and lots and lots of love from Ibu, Ayah & Aidiin.


Previous birthday entries:
- her 7th birthday
- her 6th birthday
- her 5th birthday
- her 4th birthday


Tuesday, May 19, 2009

10+2 Days Have Passed...

...and still no trace of Misha. *hampa*

I am starting to think that she's not even within a 5km radius of our house. Either she's been abducted adopted (hopefully by a good family) or she's lost. Or she's decided to be more adventurous and take a really long trip away from home. I shall not dwell on other (scarier) possibilities. I'm in denial, I know, but it helps.

I have not stopped hoping but we've decided to stop looking... kalau ditakdirkan we'll get her back, then In Shaa Allah, we will. Otherwise, she's just meant to be at some other (better) place. I pray that she is well and happy wherever she is.

The kids watched Homeward Bound the other day and asked if Misha will come home one day, just like how Sassy, Shadow and Chance did. Cemana nak explain that itu hanya cerita rekaan semata-mata and crush their hopes and anticipation? I must admit though, deep down inside, I, too, wish that our 'movie' will have a happy ending.

I still look out the window first thing in the morning, expecting to miraculously see her outside. Each time I step out of the house to hang laundry out to dry or to water the plants, there's this indescribable feeling of 'emptiness' inside of me when I walk by her unoccupied cage. Looking at her unused litter box and the now empty water bowl. Leftover bits of Friskies, untouched. *sigh*

Many times I tried to avoid jeling-jeling at the cage, but out of habit, it's just not possible to do so coz her sweet face and manja meow(s) were always there before to greet me.

When I sit alone downstairs in the living room, I still expect to hear the usual tinkle of her collar bell as she moves about. Or the 'crunchy' sound of her munching on her cat food. Sounds that I had taken for granted before.

If Harry (my other cat) could talk, I'd ask him to tell me what happened the night Misha went missing.





Spent the past week rereading La Tahzan, pondering on the reminders and advices given.

Everything occurs according to preordainment and according to what has been decreed. And nothing happens in the Universe except through Allah's Knowledge, Permission dan Divine Plan.

Appreciate that the choice of what is good for you or not good for you belongs only with Allah.

No regrets. Forgive, stop grieving and continue living.

She may not (physically) be with me anymore, but the memories of her still are. The first day I brought her home. Her first visit to the vet for feline vaccination shots. Our road trip to NYC. Our long distance plane ride from NY to LA to Tokyo to KL. Her first major surgery and recovery.

If and when I want to, I still have pictures of her to look at.

I do believe everything happened for a reason and that Allah will not test me beyond what I can endure. Perhaps He has found her a nicer place to stay and grow old. Perhaps He is protecting me from a bigger misery that might've taken place had she had not disappeared. Perhaps He didn't want me to witness her last few living moments because the pain (and loss) would've been too much for me to bear.

And it may be that you dislike a thing, which is good for you and that you like a thing, which is bad for you. Allah knows but you do not know. (Quran 2:216)

Maybe it's best for me not to know.

Hmm... somehow after typing this entry out, I feel a sense of calmness and relief.

Perhaps this is the closure that I need.


Saturday, May 09, 2009

Missing

It's been 27 hours since she was last seen in the confined compounds of the famyHome.

She's never been gone this long... not this long.

She just turned 13 (in people years) two days ago on May 7th. She'd gone missing on her birthday. :(

I've texted some friends/neighbors to be on the look out... in case she shows up at their doorsteps.

No point bebel-ing, if benda dah nak jadi.

But I'm troubled. I'm saddened. I'm afraid...

...worried beyond belief, imagining the worst.

I don't want her to spend her sisa-sisa hidup lying hurt/sick by a roadside or a semak-samun or a drain somewhere.

May Allah SWT protect her from any harm, wherever she may be.

I want her safe, and I want her back.


Misha, please come home soon. We all miss you...



Have you seen her?


Tuesday, May 05, 2009

Less Than A Month till Mid Year School Break

Will be in 'hiding' for the next few days... SK's PKSR1 exams start tomorrow till next Wednesday. Then KAFA exams will commence the week after.

Makcik dup-dap-dup-dap memikirkannya...

 

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