Monday, March 27, 2006

Panic-o Attack-o


So much to do, so little time. Serves me right for procrastinating. But what's a girl to do when there are blogs to visit daily there's other already pending stuff to work on, kan??? Arrrghhh!!!

Adrenaline pumping, heart beating fast.
Inhale, Exhale. Inhale, Exhale.

I owe Mr. A, Mr. GP and Mr. KKL a migration plan for a migration that *must* be completed by next month. No compromises, this one. I owe Mr. W an updated OAR. But first I need to know what OAR means. I owe Ms. J a cost estimation worksheet. Overdue already, yikes!!! I owe the management a completed appraisal. Ayooo... what to goreng on this one? I owe Madame DL and HA a proposal for a future event. Okay, this one maybe can stretch a little bit longer.

Since the original due dates of the tasks have been delayed (by yours truly, who else), EVERYTHING is now DUE THIS WEEK. Padan muka? Memang padan pun!

I am panicking, I am, I am. Any day or any moment now, I expect a phonecall or an email from any of the names mentioned above asking for status and requesting updates. I cringe each time my 'new email has arrived' indicator goes blink blink or when the telephone starts to ring ring. Or when my mobile beeps with a new SMS.

So what have I done so far? Think of potentially acceptable excuses and reasons to give when they do.


Monday, March 20, 2006

Dot Dot Dot

Aidiin's teacher called me up at the office on Wednesday morning last week to inform me that Aidiin has a fever, and was being extra-whiny and clingy and refused to eat or drink. They had sponge-bathed him (terima kasih yang tak terhingga, Cikgu!!) right before calling me up and that helped to bring his temperature down a bit.

Apparently that wasn't enough...

The Cikgu (teacher) found white spots just above his upper lip, and a few inside his mouth. And a few more not so obvious ones on his hands. *gasp* Cikgu panicked and called up Ibu at work... Errr... so, Puan, what did the doctor say last Monday?

I had taken Aidiin to see his paed on Monday evening because he was having his wheezing-phlegmy-cough and recurring fever since last week. Took him to a GP previously for 'early-detection' medication but somehow his condition worsened instead. Nak tak nak had to bring him to see Dr K (bukan Datuk K) before things got even worse. I seriously did not want to go through another pneumonia episode, no thank you.

Dr K's medicines seemed to work. The antibiotics had to be given since Aidiin's lungs were already infected. No need to get admitted? Alhamdulillah. So, back home we went, after his nebulizer, with four different medications to take every 8 hours.

Come Tuesday evening, his coughing fit subsided. But his fever was still on and off. On Wednesday morning at home, he appeared to be fine, no fever with minimal coughing. He was a bit weak but not on the clingy-whiny side. He was picking fights with his sister over that toy phone. So I had assumed that things were okay.

Oh, I forgot to mention that while all the above were happening, his Ayah, aka my significant half, is away on a business trip. The timing could not be worse.

Anyways, back to Wednesday's (emergency) phone call...

When Cikgu mentioned spots, Ibu panicked as well. I mean, who wouldn't be when you've read about kids in Sarawak dying because of the disease. On that Wednesday itself, there were cases reported in Kedah too.

Called up my Dad, briefly described what the teacher had said, then made arrangements to have Aidiin picked up from school. SMS-ed famyBoy about the going-ons, did not expect him to respond but he did, and replied that he would try to come home as soon as he could. I didn't want to trouble him or make him worry unnecessarily, but part of me was extremely glad and relieved that I will not have to go through it alone, so instead of telling him "It's okay, I can handle this... no biggie", I replied "Ok, c u. Hopefully very soon. Jangan lambat." Selfish kah diri ini? But somehow, knowing that he would be on his way home soon gave me confidence. Even the assurance that he was coming home gave me strength.

To cut a loooooong story short, the paed confirmed that it did not look like HFMD (yet) since there were no spots on his palms, or on the soles of his feet. He told me to watch out for outbreak of 'blisters with white spots in the middle' within the next few days, and if detected to bring him back immediately. And since the teachers were worried, Dr K further advised that it would be best to quarantine Aidiin at home for the next few days.

So I was at home the 2nd half of the week last week to take care of my son... a sick, extra-clingy, extra-whiny, extra-sensitive Aidiin, who demanded that "Bee-Booh" must NEVER EVER be out of his sight. Adoiiii.
One thing for sure, I'm glad that the spots were just some rashes possibly due to internal heatiness or allergy and not what the teacher and I had initially thought they were. But even if they *were* what the teacher and I had initially thought they were, I am still glad that they were detected and treated early before they became a risk.

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Name Calling

It started out with nothing,
And then came the constant giggling,
And sometimes, when you least expect it, a toothless smile,
So very precious, even if was just for a while.

Then began the many sessions of looks of blurr,
When suddenly, out of the blue, came a "Buhr",
Then, not very long ago, it changed to a "Booh",
And more recently a very distinct "Bee-booh".

We are definitely making progress... *beams*
Happy 19 months Birthday, Aidiin.

Monday, March 06, 2006

AFUNDI famygirl?

Last week has been both trying and tiring. My mind was exhausted and I felt emotionally drained. I went to work everyday feeling unproductive, demotivated... and to simply put, b l a n k. And the irony is I think I had too much on my mind.

Going home from work everyday was equally unpleasant. And seriously... who'd want to hug&kiss a tired and grumpy Ibu? Who'd want to snuggle-snuggle with a cranky and monyok lover?


I need to find time to sit down, list write things out. Sort them by their priority. Plan on their execution. Set target dates and hope that things start falling into place. Sounds simple, kan?

Could this be depression? Maybe it's just PMS. One thing for certain is if I wasn't thinking of famyBoy and my kids, I might've ended up doing something I would regret later. Errr... but not to that extent. *shudder*

Another thing was, that question kept popping into my head. True, almost all the time, the answer would be "No, it is not too late (yet) so you're okay" but there was one question that was an astounding "Yes". Not to signify that "Yes, it is too late, so just suck it up, live with it and go on" kind of Yes but more like a "Yes, it is too late, but you know you wouldn't have wanted it otherwise".

As cliché as it may sound, I think this is one of the 'down' moments in my life. I could choose to dwell on past mistakes and the non-accomplishments and drown myself in self-pity (minus the guilt of course), or I could choose to see this as an opportunity to take a step back, evaluate and make changes if and where applicable. Or to correct existing mistakes before they get bigger. Or to start taking notice of (important) things that I did not notice (or make time to notice) before.


I think I'm almost done with feeling sorry for myself (it takes extra energy to feel depressed somehow) and hopefully come the next few days I'll be able to think with a clearer mind. Get me life back on track, or at least to where it was before.

Menuju puncak impian yang nyata...

And oh... contrary to the rumour, I didn't get through the AF auditions. I didn't even make it past the first round. Sorry to disappoint some of you, ya? hee hee hee.

** Clip art licensed from the Clip Art Gallery on


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