Sunday, August 14, 2005

One Year Later

When I first decided to have a sibling for Sofea, I had secretly hoped that it would be a 'she'. I have always wanted to have two girls in the family. I don't know why, I just do... I even have a name for her (Sofea's sister) already. heh heh.


When the doctor did a thorough scan during my 2nd trimester of my 2nd pregnancy, I had hoped to see what I saw (or did not see?) during Sofea's ultrasound. But he showed me a dicky instead. I can still remember his exact words... "and over here is the left thigh, and this is the right thigh... *zooms in* and this, looks like a penis. You're having a boy, insyaAllah."

Errr... okay. I seriously did not know what to say. famyBoy was grinning from ear to ear. I was still in an unexplained state. Happy? Yes, of course. Surprised? Definitely. Hoping that the scan results were wrong? A bit. But don't get me wrong... I was very thankful to see a healthy-growing baby, but just a teeny bit disappointed in shock.

So, it *might* be a boy. Hmmm. Interesting.

I had never dealt with baby boys before. I do not have any brothers and my one and only (close) male cousin is 6 years younger than me, lives in a different state and hence, we did not grow up together. Also, I did not have nephews that needed baby-sitting. So the thought of getting a son made me nervous. Firstly I did not know what to expect. Secondly I underestimated my budget (you see, if it were a girl, then I'd be able to save on clothes and toys since we could recycle Sofea's belongings... instant cost-saving!!!).

You could say I was afraid of The Unknown (and was trying to practice good spending habits while I was at it).

I waited for Aidiin's arrival with full anticipation. The doctor told me I might be delivering earlier than my due date so I started my medical/maternity leave early. I waited and waited some more. No baby. I even wrote Aidiin a memo. I prayed really hard so that he'd be born healthy, and that I'd have an easy and quick delivery. But Aidiin decided that he would break his sister's record. With him, I was in labor for 30 hours, six extra hours compared to the delivery of his sister. I had written all about it in 3 looong blog entries last year.

Aidiin, 53.5 cm in length and weighing 3.27 kg at birth, was born at 4:24 PM on Saturday August 14, 2004.

Dearest Dearest Little Darling,

When you finally arrived, and when you were placed into my arms, I felt nothing else but love when I first looked into your eyes. I knew you couldn't see me then since your vision was still a blur, but I held back my tears when you immediately started to suckle, wanting to be breastfed. Right then I could feel that the 'journey' with you was going to be different, special. Was I prepared for it? No way. But I was truly looking forward to learn.

Happy 1st Birthday, Aidiin!!!

It's been only a year since you became part of Ibu's life (and Ayah's and Kakak's lives), but that one year has been filled with so many fascinating emotions and learning experiences and stories to tell (or blog about for that matter). Ibu, Ayah and Kakak love you oh-so-very-very much!

Before Aidiin came into my life, I didn't know that I could fall so deeply I-give-u-my-heart in love with another male figure besides my husband (with the exception of Keanu Reeves and Johnny Depp).

And now I ask myself, how could I possibly not??

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